Patrick Ogle
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Robocop Returns And Manages To Be Mediocre

2/16/2014

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How good did the remake of Robocop actually have to be? Basically all it had to do was a) be moderately entertaining and b) not be boring. It almost achieves "a" in spots but unfortunately couldn't manage "b."

For  a movie about a cyborg cop this move is maddeningly talky and if anyone can can come up with a plausible reason why Samuel L. Jackson is in this movie it would be great to hear (most likely it is so he can say "motherfucker" at the end). If you excised every moment he is in the movie it would make no difference and it is a LOT of moments. It brings an already slow film to a screeching halt. His segments are so hamfisted in their writing and delivery it is embarrassing.

This said, Robocop may be the best action film released in January or February, 2014. Of course being the "best" of anything released in the first two months of the year is sort of like being the best reggae band in New Jersey.


Some of the good things about the movie include the acting and the fact that they make some effort to update and change the plot. It is nice when a remake isn't just a rehash.
As much as they tried to alter the plot they kept some things around, like the criminal kingpin. But in this case that is a side-plot that is disconnected from the rest of the movie. Regardless, it is tough to get beyond boring.

Too much talking will kill any action movie. When you walk into Robocop do you want to see people debating ethics or a faux cable TV news show? No, you do not. You want to see a robot shooting bad guys and maybe some humor. 

Of course, in this film one of the best segments is when Joel Kinnaman's Alex Murphy wakes up to find he is mostly machine. The brief scenes of his psychological turmoil over this information are surprisingly effective. If they hadn't sprung for the exceptional cast this movie  would probably have been unwatchable--Gary Oldman, Michael Keaton, Jackie Earle Haley and pretty much all the smaller roles don't phone in their performances even though the material isn't particularly great.

Also, if they are robots would they spray and pray with their guns? Wouldn't they fire more sparingly? The action sequences in the film are also oddly clipped and anti-climactic. They are poorly staged and run of the mill. Add that to talky and it isn't likely to yield a good result. It isn't awful but it barely hangs on to that least coveted of movie adjectives--mediocre.

Robocop redone is sort of difficult to write about because it is just so middling. Nothing new and not terribly fun, this is a sequel that should have remained in the can.
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