My Resume
Patrick Ogle
Chicago, IL
Phone (773)555-5555● E-mail patrickogle@yahoo.com
Work experience
October 2006-Current Gearwire.com
-Inexplicably land interviews with artists of note and chat with them about music gear. Most of the interesting parts of the conversation (Swine Flu with Ian Anderson for instance) never make it on to tape. Donita Sparks from L7 gave me a hug. The bass player from Silverchair did not. I guess he thought he was too GOOD for me. New Zealanders are just TOO DAMN GOOD for the rest of us.
-Appear in video gear reviews, and stare vacantly at the camera trying to remember what I wrote down on a paper, which is usually at my feet but too far away for me to actually read.. Talk to artists in person about gear and actually know what I am talking about—so long as they are talking about acoustic guitars.
December 2005 – Current Facets Multimedia/ Chicago, Ill.
Media and Public Relations
-Spend most of any given day sending email to press asking them to write about obscure, mostly foreign movies. Frequently I find out said journalists are now unemployed. Upon finding this out I ask if they can hold up one of our DVDs next to their “Will Work For Food” sign while they stand out by the highway.
-Discover misspellings in press releases I already sent out.
- Maintain and expand gigantic, unwieldy press list and wonder, all day, why people change their email so often.
- Watch movies about depressing things.
-Teach class at midnight about Zombie movies (for no pay)
October 1999 – December 2005 The Miami Herald / Miami, Fla.
Consumer Reporter, Action Line
-Responded to myriad readers’ inquiries, some of which were sent by crazy people who think a certain artificial sweetener is turning us all into pod people. Give self ulcer worrying about people who REALLY need help from someone competent and wise but instead they wound up with me. Get dog out of gas chamber (really). Help get Vietnamese War Hero past immigration bureaucracy that would have freaked out Kafka (really). Answer really stupid questions about why parks are closed during a hurricane (really).
Travels With and Travel articles
-Whenever I wanted to go somewhere I would pitch the travel editor the trip as a story. I didn’t get paid much but hell I could write the trip off on my taxes right? (I never did this once). Spent large portion of trip trying to take coherent notes and (sometimes) talk in Spanish which is always fascinating for the native Spanish speaker I am talking to (“¿Qué dice este idiota?”). Ruined several perfectly good trips agonizing over what to write that could actually make it into a family newspaper. Once drove to Key West and back in a day, with a 6 year old, to interview street musicians.
-Wrote a very short column on trips people had taken. Was supposed to be on prominent people. It was for awhile, until I ran out of prominent people, then it was some guy at the bus stop who just got out of Raiford and had taken a trip to see his cousin who owed him money (and stabbed him).
Writer/Columnist, StreetMiami
-Worked tirelessly for four years to get obscene words and phrases into a weekly owned by a family newspaper.
Writer/Clerr Miami Beach Neighbors
-Answered phones, including calls during the 2000 election debacle (the number where I was was the first one information gave out when people called for the Miami Herald. Which was AWESOME). One call included a really drunk guy from West Virginia who apparently thought that I was, personally, responsible for the vote tally in Osceola County. Other calls would angrily accuse me of various transgressions against democracy, question my parentage, question my sexuality and then hang up.
-I also wrote stories about weirdos and other stuff no one else wanted to write about…and did the police blotter. You would be surprised at how often machetes are used in crimes in South Florida’s beach communities. And I learned police jargon like “I redirected the suspect to the ground” which translates, loosely, to “I whupped his ass.”
-Shuffled papers and talked to local freaks, losers, bored retirees and assorted malcontents who were mostly sober.
September 1994 – February 1998 Projekt Records/ Los Angeles, Ca-Chicago, Ill.
Distribution Manager/Public Relations Manager
-Handled distribution but really had conversations like this with LA musicians all the
time—“Do you want to hear my demo?” “Actually I handle distribution and press and have
nothing to do with signing bands.” “Do you want to hear my demo?” “I could not sign a
band if I WANTED to…” “Do you want to hear my demo?” Said demo would then
become part of the “Can-I-Toss-The –Demo-On-The –Roof-Of –The-Building-Next-
Door” competition.
-Dealt with musicians. Didn’t MURDER any of them.
Education
The University of Florida Gainesville, Fla.
Bachelor of Arts/History
-Wow. How the HELL did I graduate? And with a B average too. I wrote 40 page papers
On friggin AFRICAN AGRICULTURE that actually made SENSE—despite the fact most of my blood came out of a rum bottle at any given time….AHHH undergrad!
Florida International University Miami, Fla.
Postgraduate work in Intellectual History
-Went to a school where their graduate classes were all in subjects I had never studied. I had a class on Bolivian Tin Miners with a very depressed professor from Yale with a bad back. That is all I remember from that class excepting he hated all my papers (likely feeling they were not graduate level UMM MAKE THEM ABOUT AFRICA OR THE CIVIL WAR AND THEY WOULD HAVE BEEN GRADUATE LEVEL) Wasted a shitload of money and time and never did finish the Masters Degree—hence the “postgraduate work.” I would have been better off joining the Marines.
Chicago, IL
Phone (773)555-5555● E-mail patrickogle@yahoo.com
Work experience
October 2006-Current Gearwire.com
-Inexplicably land interviews with artists of note and chat with them about music gear. Most of the interesting parts of the conversation (Swine Flu with Ian Anderson for instance) never make it on to tape. Donita Sparks from L7 gave me a hug. The bass player from Silverchair did not. I guess he thought he was too GOOD for me. New Zealanders are just TOO DAMN GOOD for the rest of us.
-Appear in video gear reviews, and stare vacantly at the camera trying to remember what I wrote down on a paper, which is usually at my feet but too far away for me to actually read.. Talk to artists in person about gear and actually know what I am talking about—so long as they are talking about acoustic guitars.
December 2005 – Current Facets Multimedia/ Chicago, Ill.
Media and Public Relations
-Spend most of any given day sending email to press asking them to write about obscure, mostly foreign movies. Frequently I find out said journalists are now unemployed. Upon finding this out I ask if they can hold up one of our DVDs next to their “Will Work For Food” sign while they stand out by the highway.
-Discover misspellings in press releases I already sent out.
- Maintain and expand gigantic, unwieldy press list and wonder, all day, why people change their email so often.
- Watch movies about depressing things.
-Teach class at midnight about Zombie movies (for no pay)
October 1999 – December 2005 The Miami Herald / Miami, Fla.
Consumer Reporter, Action Line
-Responded to myriad readers’ inquiries, some of which were sent by crazy people who think a certain artificial sweetener is turning us all into pod people. Give self ulcer worrying about people who REALLY need help from someone competent and wise but instead they wound up with me. Get dog out of gas chamber (really). Help get Vietnamese War Hero past immigration bureaucracy that would have freaked out Kafka (really). Answer really stupid questions about why parks are closed during a hurricane (really).
Travels With and Travel articles
-Whenever I wanted to go somewhere I would pitch the travel editor the trip as a story. I didn’t get paid much but hell I could write the trip off on my taxes right? (I never did this once). Spent large portion of trip trying to take coherent notes and (sometimes) talk in Spanish which is always fascinating for the native Spanish speaker I am talking to (“¿Qué dice este idiota?”). Ruined several perfectly good trips agonizing over what to write that could actually make it into a family newspaper. Once drove to Key West and back in a day, with a 6 year old, to interview street musicians.
-Wrote a very short column on trips people had taken. Was supposed to be on prominent people. It was for awhile, until I ran out of prominent people, then it was some guy at the bus stop who just got out of Raiford and had taken a trip to see his cousin who owed him money (and stabbed him).
Writer/Columnist, StreetMiami
-Worked tirelessly for four years to get obscene words and phrases into a weekly owned by a family newspaper.
Writer/Clerr Miami Beach Neighbors
-Answered phones, including calls during the 2000 election debacle (the number where I was was the first one information gave out when people called for the Miami Herald. Which was AWESOME). One call included a really drunk guy from West Virginia who apparently thought that I was, personally, responsible for the vote tally in Osceola County. Other calls would angrily accuse me of various transgressions against democracy, question my parentage, question my sexuality and then hang up.
-I also wrote stories about weirdos and other stuff no one else wanted to write about…and did the police blotter. You would be surprised at how often machetes are used in crimes in South Florida’s beach communities. And I learned police jargon like “I redirected the suspect to the ground” which translates, loosely, to “I whupped his ass.”
-Shuffled papers and talked to local freaks, losers, bored retirees and assorted malcontents who were mostly sober.
September 1994 – February 1998 Projekt Records/ Los Angeles, Ca-Chicago, Ill.
Distribution Manager/Public Relations Manager
-Handled distribution but really had conversations like this with LA musicians all the
time—“Do you want to hear my demo?” “Actually I handle distribution and press and have
nothing to do with signing bands.” “Do you want to hear my demo?” “I could not sign a
band if I WANTED to…” “Do you want to hear my demo?” Said demo would then
become part of the “Can-I-Toss-The –Demo-On-The –Roof-Of –The-Building-Next-
Door” competition.
-Dealt with musicians. Didn’t MURDER any of them.
Education
The University of Florida Gainesville, Fla.
Bachelor of Arts/History
-Wow. How the HELL did I graduate? And with a B average too. I wrote 40 page papers
On friggin AFRICAN AGRICULTURE that actually made SENSE—despite the fact most of my blood came out of a rum bottle at any given time….AHHH undergrad!
Florida International University Miami, Fla.
Postgraduate work in Intellectual History
-Went to a school where their graduate classes were all in subjects I had never studied. I had a class on Bolivian Tin Miners with a very depressed professor from Yale with a bad back. That is all I remember from that class excepting he hated all my papers (likely feeling they were not graduate level UMM MAKE THEM ABOUT AFRICA OR THE CIVIL WAR AND THEY WOULD HAVE BEEN GRADUATE LEVEL) Wasted a shitload of money and time and never did finish the Masters Degree—hence the “postgraduate work.” I would have been better off joining the Marines.