That is why I couldn’t get it together to write something FUNNY on the subject. It was depressing to me, this lack of intelligent debate. It was like trying to write something funny about a guy strangling a sack full of puppies. "There will be no cooperation for the rest of the year."
These words came out of the mouth of the latest Republican nominee for the Presidency. In a related move he said he is taking his ball and going home. There was a second sentence to this. I think it began; “Nanny, nanny boo boo…”
" America has just witnessed an unconscionable abuse of power. President Obama has betrayed his oath to the nation -- rather than bringing us together, ushering in a new kind of politics, and rising above raw partisanship, he has succumbed to the lowest denominator of incumbent power: justifying the means by extolling the ends."
These words issued from the maw of the former governor of Massachussets, Mitt Romney. Now another conservative, former Bush speechwriter, David Frum, opined:
“Could a deal have been reached? Who knows? But we do know that the gap between this plan and traditional Republican ideas is not very big. The Obama plan has a broad family resemblance to Mitt Romney’s Massachusetts plan….”
No wonder none of the other 2008 Republicans wanted to pee next to Romney—not when this sort of dribble comes out of him. (This info comes from the un-sourced best seller, Game Change btw).
So you see my conundrum. I promised to write something funny on the subject but isn’t this more distressing than a guy strangling puppies? And forget about the words. Let us get into some actions.
“Last night, against the will of the American people, liberals passed a bill to take over our health care system. This partisan bill – which was passed without the support of a single Republican – violates the constitution and disrespects the legislative process,” said Vitter. “That’s why the first thing I did when Senate went back into session today was file legislation to repeal this government takeover of health care. This bill is unconstitutional, and the American people won’t stand for it. And I will do everything in my power to reverse the damage.”
In a related note, Vitter is also taking his ball and going home. Seriously, they are acting like they had NO CHANCE to have any input. The aforementioned Mr. Frum notes that the current bill resembles suggestions put forward in the 90s (to counter “Clinton Care”) by the HERITAGE FOUNDATION. My LORD, those commie liberal bastards at the Heritage Foundation advocate violating the constitution and dissin’ the legislative process.
See! Nothing funny yet. Therefore I turned to a sure fire fountain of humor.
Michelle Bachman apparently has introduced legislation (or said she would) in the House. I searched for a quote from Bachman. I love her. Her quotes are the stuff of legend. She makes Ross Perot and his “black-panthers-are-gonna-disrupt-my-daughter’s-weddin’” comments look lucid. How did this woman get elected? Seriously. There are some idiots, left and right, in the Congress but Bachman? Really? PLEASE, someone, give me a coherent defense of Rep. Bachman Add to this all the tea bagging going on.
After a number of Tea Baggers (I know, after someone realized what that CONNOTATES they stopped using the term…but come on, it is hilarious that people applied the term TO THEMSELVES so I am going to continue to use it) went out to protest the Health Care Bill. What they wound up doing instead was calling people “niggers” and “faggots.” Now this isn’t the WHOLE group and who knows about how pervasive these taunts were. I wasn’t there. BUT this whole movement looks a little, shall we say, PALE to be considered broad based. In fact it looks about as white and old as a the audience at a Neil Diamond concert. Every whack job “I-used-to-be-in-a-militia” nimrod is the country is out and baggin’ it seems. The angry white man, with just a truckload of angst. when he sees all these brown people is wondering what fresh hell is on the horizon. Next thing you know their kids are gonna be listening to RAP music…oh…wait….
Minority Leader John Boehner tried to counter this outpouring of bigotry. But his choice of admonishments made me cringe. He told Republicans to “Behave like grown ups”. What is more “grown-up” than out and out racism! It isn’t like the Ku Klux Klan was started at a day care center. I am fairly sure Adolph Hitler was a grown up when he wrote Mein Kampf. Ergot a more correct admonition would have been; “For the LOVE OF GOD, stop being a bunch of racist fucks. You are making our party look like the party of Strom Thurmond. Oh…Wait…”
Boehner then proceeded to give a speech full of insightful, thoughtful rhetoric such as a spirited cry of "Hell no!" I think he also made some sort of stiff armed salute and jutted out his lower jaw.
One thing we don’t often think of is the cost of the raft of silly, unpassable legislation put forward by Congress members to pander to a small group of adherents. It is what Dennis Kucinich has made his career on-- “Give Baby Seals The Vote Bill” or similar gibberish) In this case the likes of Vitter and Bachman (and I am sure Sen. Vitter might punch me in the face for including him in the same sentence with Rep. Bachman) are putting forward legislation to repeal the law just approved. So more time and money --all bills cost us money, even doomed ones--wasted on grandstanding.
I have a suggestion. When a member of Congress puts forward a ludicrous bill, with no chance of passing, they should have to pay the cost of that bill out of their pocket. Either that or they should have to work off the full amount working in the Congressional cafeteria. Or they have to wash tourist’s cars at $5 a pop until the debt is paid back. THEN I get to another issue—symbols. I wish to ban the use of the “Don’t Tred on Me” flag by Fascists. I just do not want to see that flag unfurled by unrepentant racists, malcontented militias and apparently unbalanced members of the US Congress unaware that they, themselves, are not outsiders but, respectively, members of a very exclusive group of clubs: nitwits, crack pots and another, more exclusive fraternity (and the term is used intentionally in all its connotations), currently with 435 members. Instead they can use whatever symbol Mussolini used in the 30s. I think it was a bundle of sticks.
Even worse, politicians from the past are chiming in.
Newt Gingrich (will someone pound a stake through this guy’ heart, fill his mouth with garlic and then sew it up please) stated that Democrats had (and I do not have an exact quote here) destroyed their party like Lyndon Johnson did with the enactment of civil rights legislation in the 1960s. No word on whether he started chanting any Tea Party-esque things at that point of if he was just making the sage observations of the sort that “elder statesmen” are prone to make. Likewise no word on whether he had a bundle of sticks under his arm.
When I think of Gingrich I still cannot get past the man serving his now ex-wife with divorce papers while she was in the hospital with cancer. It is somewhat apropos he is commenting here on health care. Can’t these disgraced buffoons just go away (and yes, I will say the same thing about Charles Rangel at some point when I take a hatchet to the Democrats). I was going to get into what the entertainment industry (once known as the “news” industry) pundits said but it made my head hurt far, far too much. See what I mean? Hard to make funny. Maybe I should done something about the Pope. That guy is a laugh riot.